Burning Bridges

Chances are you’ve been in love.


Head over heals in it.


Or maybe heals over head…


Pending how much you listened to your brain in the relationship.  


Or- perhaps you’ve just had an enduring relationship where the initial fire died down, but the embers continued to glow.

Things change.

We change.

Sometimes with lightening-like speed, almost as if all of your feelings about something or someone disappear -or change drastically after an out of the ordinary occurrence or chance meeting. 

Or, perhaps just a gradual crumbling that continues to nag at you while you put your best effort to move forward. 

How could a sparkling love morph into indifference, discomfort, aversion, or even resentment? 

How could a remarkable connection so mysteriously transform into disconnection?

What is true love, anyway? 

When a relationship ends, must the love die too?

One key to working with this sense of being emotionally hijacked is expanding your perspective on love.

And by yours, I do of course mean mine as well.

Which brings me to my main point: Is it love? Or is it attachment?

Admiration of addiction? 

Passion or affliction? 

Fondness or infatuation?

I could go on and on….and on, but I feel as though you get where I’m going with this.

Love isn’t always healthy. It’s obsessive, too forgiving and ultimately frightening.

So, after our hearts have been broken, why do we put ourselves through it again?

Now, I don’t mean why do we continue to feel the emotion of love. What I want to focus on is why do we put ourselves through the pain and agony of trying to reconcile what is broken?

You want to know something?

Though I am able to write down the negative things, why is it that I do not believe it? Why can’t I make myself drop something that has been a lingering twinge for so long?

I know why...Love is great.


I ought to know. I've loved many people in my short time on this earth. 

ANYWAY, back to my main focus.

When is it a good time to let go? When is the opportune moment to move on? Will I ever move on? Will I answer these questions I am asking? Are they rhetorical? The answer?

I don’t know. I can not tell you.

What is right for me is not what is right for you. Every situation is different, and there is not a blanket answer for troubles of the heart.

What I do know, rather, what a good friend of mine sent to me last night is this:

“Because you can never go from going out to being friends, just like that. It’s a lie. It’s just something that people say they’ll do to take the permanence out of a breakup. And someone always takes it to mean more than it does and then is hurt even more, inevitably, said ‘friendly’ relationship is still a major step down from the previous relationship, and it’s like breaking up all over again. But messier.”

-Sarah Dessen

This holds so much truth.

I never really thought about it, because I always felt that someone that you were involved with was meant to be your friend for life, but that is not true.

Attempting a friendship post bad breakup IS messy and it IS painful.

But if everything was always smooth and perfect, you’d get too used to
that, you know? The boat needs to be rocked occasionally. Now, I’m not talking about a shipwreck of any kind, keep Titanic and Celine Dion far away from me. Because, if every relationship in your life goes swimmingly, then you’ll never really enjoy it when things go right.

So don’t wish your pain and frustration away. Use it as a tool, and realize it has shaped you into the person you are. And I figure it makes us smarter.  

Also…

Love is not reserved only for romantic relationships.

Have you noticed how a good friend can pull you out of any shlump you’re in or have been in? That they have the ability to cheer you up, help you realize your worth, and can over time help you move past the frustrations of life.

Those relationships are gifts from God. When we lose sight of what it is like to be in a relationship with Him, I think He strategically places people in our path with personalities that remind us of our favorite attributes of God.

Perhaps that sounds weird to you, but what it has meant to me as of late is that God is funny, caring, involved, and most importantly- God is love.

Sometimes I fall short, I don’t listen to Him, so he sends in some of his strongest soldiers to be our comrades.

So go on.

“Cherish every moment with everyone you love at every stage of your life”

-Jack Layton

Love every single person you come into contact with, no matter how unlovable they are.

As for your good friends, the ones that are loveable, hold them close to your heart.

Always listen.

Speak your mind.

Go on adventures.

Offer encouragement.

Cherish them always.

Have a wonderful day, pals. I’m going to get a snow cone and spend some time with my friends.

Send a hand-written thank you note to your best friend. They’d love to hear from you.

Things I love about today:

1. Snow cones

2. Friends to eat snow cones with

3. The fact that classes have finally started