Here it goes again

Well.

It’s almost 2014. Weird.

Even more weird? Another year has passed.

I mean, that’s the only way I know time to work. It has this tendency to truck along. It’s just that I can recall writing a post last year about this time, and I feel like not a whole lot has changed. Sure, things have changed, nothing huge, though. Which could very well be a good thing. I shouldn’t complain. My family is well and my health is good. I’d say 2013 was a-ok.

ANYWAY.

Good things really have happened this year. I’ve made incredible friends at Texas Tech as well as various other places, and had a whole bunch of fun with those people.

But you know with the good, the bad generally follows. Bad things will happen in your life simply because they will. It is inevitable. Things will always be sunshine and daisies. How can it be? Sure, that would be nice in theory, but if you’re like me, then you learn the most in times of distress. You know that goes. You just realize how good things are/were when something less than desirable happens. Which is about where I am right now.

I’m absolutely exhausted from learning this lesson time after time. I am not grateful enough for the  happy times in my life. Now, I am not saying that being thankful puts a shield up to protect you from the bad, that is certainly not the case. But at least you are consciously recognizing the beauty of your life and the people in it. Go ahead and add that to my new years resolutions- to love every second of this blessed life I’ve been given.

However. For the time being, I’m ready for this year to be over.

My favorite thing about 2013 may very well be that it is over in 3 days.

I thoroughly enjoy new beginnings. Even if this is a new beginning that we created.

Moving along.

I’m in one of the most coveted places to be for NYE.

Yep, I’m in New York City.

(Yeah, yeah, I know. Typical college girl picture with my guns up.)

This is the sort of thing that is on most peoples’ bucket lists. Every year, my family would turn on the TV to watch the ball drop in New York, and here I am to experience it. My brain knows that this is a really cool thing, but in the meantime my heart tells me that this is a very dreary place. At least in my eyes. To others, New York is a place of wonder, a place of hope, but it just brings me this sense of being very, very alone. You know what I like? Places like they sing about in the Cheers theme song, you know? Where everybody knows your name…nobody here knows who I am.

Of course, there are the exceptions of the five other people I came here with, but two pairs are coupled off (My parents, my sister and her boyfriend), and my oldest sister enjoys roaming around alone. SIDENOTE: I decided that it would be a good idea to go on one of her walks with her, so that she did not have to be alone (and I was not into the idea of third wheeling with my parents or my other sister). You know what we did? We walked from Time Square all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge. In the cold. You KNOW how I feel about cold temperatures. PLUS, I was not anticipating be out in the cold for so long. About two hours into the walk, I had to go to the restroom. When I went inside, it was at that point that I realized just how cold I was. My legs felt as if two icicles replaced them. And you know me. I’m the type to enjoy 80 degree weather. This below 32 stuff is not my cup of tea.

Ooh…tea. That would be nice.

Anyway. I complain, and as I said previously, this is a really cool experience. I’m lucky to be here.

We are very blessed to have gotten here safely. There have been some genuinely fun moments.

I’m getting to spend more time with my oldest sister, which is neat because she went off to college by the time I was in first grade- so I always appreciate the times that we get to bond (even if is does mean taking the longest/coldest walk of my life). I love her sense of wonder and excitement about travel and the history of a town. My other sister (+ boyfriend) are also good folks to be around. She is very inclusive, always being sure that I am having a good time (I think she knows my distaste for the hustle and bustle of big city life), and always eager to see a show. As for the boyfriend- he’s pretty great as well. I actually had the chance to see the Book of Mormon with him (because we only had two tickets, and going to that show with your parents should not even be an option) and we laughed until we cried. Or perhaps that was just me. Anyway. My parents are last but definitely not least on this list here. They are just extraordinary human beings. They care so deeply about our family as well as eachother. I do not often take time to stop and think about how lucky me and my sisters are to have grown up with such a wonderful example of how a marriage should be, how to love others unconditionally as well as selflessly, and how to lead a Christ centered life. This year (in a couple of days) they will celebrate 36 years of marriage. How remarkable. Here’s to many more. You may never read this, and I may not tell you this enough, but I love you both. And I’m glad that you’re my parents. Thank you for giving me life, and for 3 built in best friends.

Lauren on the Brooklyn Bridge!

Alright. My glasses are fogging up, I must move on.

Rather than stating my New Years resolutions…I’m going to backtrack a bit and talk about what I learned in 2013. You know, in case future me forgets. Present me has forgotten some of the things past me has written down, so here’s hoping that present me is a little more influential.

Did that make sense? Maybe? Oh well. Here goes nothing.

1. Cut out toxic people. I have this tendency to keep people in my life longer than I should. Mostly because I love them, but also out of obligation. I feel as though I put a lot of effort into my relationships, and I hate to see them dissipate.

2. Don’t fall in love with the first person you meet. Love is great. Love is grand. I LOVE love. However…just because you meet someone who says all the right things, treat you how your parents say you ought to be treated, seems honest enough…just wait. Take a step back.

BUT

3. Love without the fear of loss. I suppose in some regard this contradicts #1, but not completely. Loving without the fear of loss means to listen to your heart. Your gut. Or from whatever organ that is drawing you to love something. This can be a person (friend or romantic interest), a hobby, a place, whatever it may be- love it. Love them. We are on this earth to love others and in doing so we are glorifying God

4. Things never go the way we plan for them to. Can I get a hallelujah? I know I’m not alone in this. When we’ve got it in our little heads that we know what we want or what is good for us, and those plans go terribly, horribly, horrifically wrong…we become miffed. Just downright irritated that the world clearly can not read our minds, and something different happens. Sometimes, we are too perturbed to notice the “different thing” is better for us in the end. We just had some sort of tunnel vision keeping us honed in on one thought or idea. I’m INCREDIBLY thankful that not all of my plans have followed through. Its really important to remember that…

5. Sometimes not getting what you want is sometimes a WONDERFUL stroke of luck. I don’t know what’s best for me. You don’t know what’s best for you. And I CERTAINLY do not know what is the best thing for you. Fortunately for all of us, there is a God that does know. He is constantly watching over you. Never forget that. If you do, and you need a reminder, check out these verses. I pray they bring you comfort in that you are cared for by the King of Kings.

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

 “Have no anxiety about anything but in everything let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me, you can do nothing.” John 15:5

God has your best interests at heart. Undoubtedly. When a door closes (and believe me- they will), whatever is behind that door was not meant for you. Do not become disheartened. You don’t know what He is saving you from.

Have a marvelous New Year.

The absolute best.

2014 is yours.

Things I love about today:

1. Heat. Because the cold and I do NOT jive

2. Family- I pray that I love that about every day
3. Laughter